So you want to play Monopoly, huh? Good luck with that. Though a great game, it’s a notoriously tough sell with friends and has only become less appealing over time. Why would we, broke millennials, want to spend hours playing with phoney money when we could laugh our sorrows away with, say, Cards Against Humanity? Is mortgaging Baltic Avenue going to help pay off my student loan? To be fair, Baltic Avenue couldn’t buy a single Community Chest card.
I still love Monopoly, however, and am always looking for ways to tric-*ahem*-convince others into slinging properties for a night. I’ve largely failed at this in the past decade or so, but I’ve learned valuable lessons about making it happen–by any means necessary. If you too hope to trade bills with Papa Monopoly (that’s the old dude’s name, right?), follow my patented tips on making Monopoly night a reality.
Trust me when I tell you that no one wants to play Monopoly on a whim. You may as well ask your friends if they feel like climbing Everest in the middle of your get-together. Planning a dedicated Monopoly night in advance eliminates the knee jerk reaction to refuse and it respects everyone’s time. Players can clear their schedule, have time to get excited, and pen farewell letters to their loved ones. God only knows when they’re returning home once the game starts.
Assemble a Feast
Food can make anything more tolerable. Turn your Monopoly session into a potluck! The sting of losing cash on Richard’s ill-gotten utilities feels less potent with a mouth full of Swedish meatballs. Or, if you want to guarantee future Monopoly nights, supply all of the grub yourself! People will line up to play if they know they’ll get to chow down for free. It’ll hurt your wallet but you’ve got to spend money to make not-money.
Choose a Rage-Resistant Play Setting
When people joke about board games ending with someone flipping the table they’re talking about Monopoly. I’ve witnessed it first-hand when a three-day long game (yes, really) ended with a “friend” sending the board flying. The floor may seem like the perfect counter to this, but it’s actually more prone to game flippage. Tables might be the meme, but few are bold enough to actually turnover another person’s furniture. Like, are you going to pay for my now three-legged table? If you’ve got one of those fancy kitchen islands, that’s perfect. Your nice granite top is not only a permanent fixture of the building but, as previously mentioned, the surrounding food will help quell any volatile emotions.
Put on a Movie About Money and Business
This is purely optional and kind of dumb, but some might argue the same about playing Monopoly in 2018. I think having a relevant film play in the background of your session would really up the ambiance. Maybe Wall Street–the first one, please–or something recent like The Big Short. If nothing else, it’ll help take your guests minds off the fact that they’ve sacrificed their entire night to Old Man Monopoly.
Volunteer to be the Banker
No one wants to be the Banker. Though not a difficult job, being in charge of the money simply means more work. You’re lucky to have gotten this far. Don’t push it by forcing the possibility of fumbling with cash on your friends. Bite the bullet and prepare to spend the night dealing out $500 bills. Just kidding. We all know those orange notes barely get touched.
Be Open to “Street” Rules
I’m admittedly a hard-nosed traditionalist when it comes to board games. I prefer play a pure, by-the-book game instead of implementing “street” or house rules. You know, the made-up decrees everyone seems to know despite believing only you and your inner circle invented them. These include adding houses without building a monopoly or the popular Free Parking jackpot rule. Sticking to the traditional rules can get in the way of more casual players who just want to throw dice, move the little Scottie dog around, and have a stupid good time. So ease up, Rulemeister, and let everyone have their incorrect fun.
Create an Easy-to-Achieve Endgame
Winning Monopoly requires one player to bankrupt everyone else on the board. Since that can take roughly an eternity and a half, you may want to consider changing that. A common solution is “first to X-amount of money wins”. Maybe the victor can be the person who completes a certain number of laps around the board. It could even be whoever owns the most property once they’re all bought up. Whatever goal you concoct, just make sure it makes the light at the end of the tunnel brighter than a supernova.
At the end of the day isn’t that what Monopoly is about? I mean, historically no, but isn’t that what we like to believe Monopoly is about? This list is all about finding ways to have a grand time with the people you tolerate and perhaps even like. After all, board games have a way of bringing us all together. We should try to preserve their emphasis on fun camaraderie and healthy competition–no matter how inherently frustrating the game may be. If it means awarding $500 bucks and a railroad to pass Go while Blank Check blares in the background, this will all be worth it.
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